on solitude:

my roomate/otherhalf elise will be leaving me to galavant around europe for the next two months. i don't want to sound like a terrible person and i will miss her dearly, but i think i will enjoy this time alone. i need to just pull my shit together. this is the time.

i don't know when it happened because i always used to be a fiercely independant person. i was ready to move out when i was seventeen. somewhere along the way i grew incredibly dependant on having a "love" in my life. i got to a point where i was fully capable of taking care of myself so much so that the only thing i wanted to do was to take care of another person. enter string of emotionally and monitarily dependant and draining affairs with the opposite sex. when i begin to fall for someone they quickly become the most important thing in my life, and recently i've realised to the point in which i no longer care for my own well-being. i don't know when this happened but it's stopping right now. my mother is the most self-sacrificing human being i have ever met and i would like to think it's thanks to her big heart that i was born this way and not due to my own weakness.

so many of my friends have used their time in school as a limbo until the engagement, something to entertain themselves until they become wives and mothers. this is not a gateway for me and i'm not killing time until something/someone better comes along. this is it. this is what i want... my work is my life and my life is my work and it's always been that way for me. it was just too hard to see it until now. there hasn't been a single day i wake up and find no beauty in the world and when it's not in my hands my eyes are my camera. it's just that simple. i am revived and refocused.

i have commitment issuse at times, so i'll try this for now like so many others: here is yet another photoblog. let's hear it for instant gratification, this will be easier than a website while something more permanant is underconstruction. isn't that funny? exactly what i said i was done doing.