8-22-08

Lover,


I don't know what to say to that... I don't want to be your Brett.

that was a lie, i have so much to say to that that I sat and wrote for an hour yesterday... but now i don't even know if it matters and i probably will never send that to you. you don't listen to anything anyone says anyways... least of all me so why waste my breath.

I hate that you can say one little thing to me and it's enough to make my heart thump and either ruin my day or make me sleep better.

I hate that i deleted you from my phone, but i still have your number memorized enough to text you when i was drunk.

I hate that I can't cut you out of my life entirely... and even if i could when it all boils down I don't actually want to.

I hate that i'm erasing parts of this message right now as I write it and decide i won't actually send it to you...

I hate that i have so much of a response to give you. I won't give it to you, and all i want to say to you is nothing at all, but i can't even do that. so now all you have are lines of incoherent babble